Kathy, I am retired but I also have the same back problem as you describe plus degenerative arthritis in many many other joints. I seem to recall responding to you earlier in the discussion.
I don't have the mind stuff you have but I am on Cymbalta and frequently have to top up tylenol with opiates. I am Canadian and our health care system is quite different. For a few years before I retired (8 years ago) as an RN in a school of Nursing, I was not able to supervise students clinically, but had a physicians letter to have work adaptions made. Application for disability was turned down. The work adaption ended up doubling up on classroom teaching, but was nearly as hard as standing is a killer as well. As I was close to retirement with pretty good benefits I retired. I wish I could say that leaving work solved my problems but after a few injuries and surgeries (not all orthopedic), I am finding that each incident has slowly slowed me down more.
Regarding your antidepressant med (used for chronic pain), and your mind working, I wonder how long you took them before deciding to quit. They do take awhile to become effective and side effects do wear off. You should discuss this with the professionals at the pain clinic. Something else, as well as the swim exercising, that may worth learning to meditate. There are lots of ways of meditating and as more and more practice it there are more teachers available. If
you can't find one near you you may want to find and read books by Jon Kabatat-Zinn, who is currently publishing on Mindful Meditation. Meditation will not cure all your ills but will quiet your mind and act as an adjunct to medications. BUT, you must practice using it and work it into your daily routines. I suspect your pain clinic has information on it and maybe even classes to attend - don't give up.
I find with my back I suffer slot from spasms which cripple me right up. I go to a therapeutic massage therapist occasionally ( it is expensive and my benefits cover very little). I find 3-4 treatments help for quite awhile. I also go to an acupuncturist for about 3 visits before I travel. You have no doubt found out that sitting can be as bad as standing or walking!!!
It is important to keep moving
One physio, years ago told me to 'walk through the pain' - it did work for a few years, but now my feet won't allow that. I am using a cane and/ or a walking stick (which keeps my back straighter and upright).
Regarding govt help. As I make more with my retirement income, I have not reapplied for disability. BUT, having just heard about it I am in the process of being declared disabled with the tax dept - I am hoping it will help pay for some of the extras I don't qualify for elsewhere.
Wishing you success in finding some relief somewhere.
Nancy
PS. I find shopping a killer, I refuse so far to use the wheelchairs in big box stores, but have no trouble asking a clerk or service person to find me a chair to sit on. They are usually glad to do something they know what to do!
PACEING is all important, and yet so difficult to those of us who have worked so many years walking and doing so much in a day