My husband post stroke

[sewingmom]

He came home May 2nd. He dresses himself and bathes and brushes his teeth. He will hang clothes on the line some days and some days will fold laundry. Some days he will vacuum a floor. He likes to sit in the glider on the front porch. We spend a lot of time on the road going to therapy or to drop him off some where or for a doctors appointment. He walks 2.5 miles or more most days. He has recently become the pouty little boy when I try to get him to wash his face and last week he even refused to get in the car to go to therapy. I was an hour late for work that day. DS Charlie and I share the care giving with supper meals and a small amount of sitting for him done by ddil and dgd and dgs. I worried that the grandchildren wouldn't handle his occasional nighttime low blood sugars but they are rising to the challenge.
The IRS wants us to pay them $55,000 in taxes because Ronnie had check signing privileges with my sons company and now the company is in bad financial trouble because Charlie dear man that he is, he is not a good business manager. The electric company sent someone to turn off our electricity because I forgot to pay last months bill. The mail order company that our insurance requires us to use for our maintenance medicines wont send his insulin and now they say it is because he didn't authorize my approving the use of his credit card to purchase them. I just had to pay $298.00 for insulin at the drugstore because they wouldn't send it and the insurance wouldn't authorize the purchase at the local pharmacy. I more that is better to hear but I just needed to hurry and let off a little steam. You folks keep on sewin and know that I am at the machine in my heart.

[pinecone]

My heart breaks as you struggle with all of this. It is a good thing family is near by and able to step in and help. Can he give verbal approval for you to use the card? My cousin was telling me she goofed when signing up for Medicare. She uses insulin and will be in the "doughnut hole" of medication coverage soon. *sigh* What hoops we have to jump through. (((hugs)))

piney

[sewingmom]

Piney, you are such a dear kind person. The good news is that A AND M university in Huntsville has a speech and communications department. The professor and the students work with patients in need of speech therapy. They are going to take Ronnie 4 days a week 1 hour each day for $30 a session for 6 weeks. If I have estimated my money management ability correctly, we should be able to pull it off and if Ronnie does well perhaps they will take him for the fall semester also. He really will need about 2 years of therapy give or take a few more. His voice is weak and strained sounding unless he is irritated with me. This evening I cought him in a rare co-operative mood and we played with SKYPE. I put my computer camera close to my mouth so he could see my lips without me being up in his face. I said phrases that he might want to say at church tomorrow and had him repeat them. He enjoyed the exercise for a short time. I wish he had more endurance but it is what it is.

[MartySews2]

Because you have guardianship of your hubby, you should be able to use his credit card for his medication. Send the insurance company and the mail order pharmacy a copy of the guardianship papers and the power of attorney that you have along with the receipt for the insulin you had to buy out of your funds. Demand reimbursement. You should be reimbursed and that should put a stop to this nonsense. Hopefully, your power is back on and this was a one time lapse. I will try to call you one day next week so you can vent. Maybe, there are some ways that I can help you.
Marty

[sewhappyrtr]

I don't see why the doctors of your husband can't send some kind of release that gives you the authority to order medical supplies for your husband. That is nonsense for you to have paid so much when he had a stroke and you are the wife, seems like you should have power of attorney anyhow.. but I am no attorney...and I have not kept up on everything that you have gone through after he had his stroke... know that you have friends on here you can talk to.. seems like Marty knows alot about medical/legal things.. (((hugs)))

[MartySews2]

Karen, the only reason that I know about medical/legal things is that I have dealt with these issues in my own health care. Also, I used to be a Child Welfare Benefit Specialist for the State of TN's foster children where I was an advocate for health care and dealt a lot with Social Security, Medicaid, Medicare, etc, plus the legalities of children not in the custody of or living with their parents. I had to make quick, complex medical decisions and had to answer to the Legislature if I made the wrong decision. I learned a lot in the 26 yrs that I did this. I also dealt with Elder Care issues for families with parents/relatives in nursing homes that needed legal guardians and the complex issues regarding their income and resources in regards to medical care. It's a subject that I am well versed in. Glad to share my knowledge with someone who needs help. While each state has their own set of rules, the basics are the same everywhere.
Marty

[pinecone]

Marty, it sounds like you have a wealth of knowledge. I cared for DMIL-Alz for 7 years at home and learned more than I wished I needed to and then helped my dad. Just when you think you know the answer, it changes. Good way to exercise the brain...and nibble on chocolate. Sending more hugs.

piney

[MartySews2]

Thank you, Piney. I cared for a neighbor with no family members for 25 yrs who had dementia from alcoholism. I truly understand the issues that you had with your DMIL. It's not an easy task and is often thankless. Fortunately, for me, my own beloved MIL helped and had an alert mind until her death in 2001. She was such an inspiration to me and taught me so many things that contributed to who I am today.
Marty

[sewingmom]

I am not in such a pouty mood today and will explain that the man who came to turn off the power listened when I looked at him perplexed and said that I keyed the payment into my credit union "bill Pay" the day before which I really did thinking I was just close to late but not quiet. I actually wondered why the bill was double what it should be for the time of year. The reason was that it was for two months. But still, one late payment in 20+ years and they didn't even call to suggest tha maybe I had forgotten. The man that was to turn the power off wouldn't even take a check to make sure he didn't get in trouble for not turning it off or bringing the money for the bill. He said he would tell them about my husbands stroke and that I was just having some difficulty keeping up with everything.
I think I got the pharmacy thing straightened out. I called 3 times today and talked to 5 different representatives and finally got someone who had a family member on insulin and with some authority also and she listened. She even called the local pharmacy and arranged for them to refund the money for the insulin I had to purchase out of pocket. She also arranged for the insulin to be sent out first thing in the morning as overnight and no extra charge and would process the insulin on the proper credit card. She also gave me a different address to mail the Guardianship and conservatorship information. The problem with the information is that it doesn't give specifics of what is included in both instances and doesn't specifically mention medical affairs or financial affairs. Only legal codes for Alabama guardianship and conservatorship. Just a bunch of numbers.
I just hope I never have to deal with these people ever again. I will check with Goodyear Dunlop retires benefits person tomorrow and see if it is mandatory that his meds come from that mail order company and I will fill their ears full about the problem we have had. The first 4 of the people on the phone today assured me that the issue could not be taken care of today and that it would just have to wait. One last night told me we would still have to pay for the quick shipment even though I authorized that 2+ weeks ago. OHHHHHHH! I am about to get steamed up again.
On a lighter note, I have been trying to get Ronnie to practice his favorite old Tarzan yell that he used to do in the shower many years ago. He actually did it 2-3 times. He needs to do that to begin to be able to have more volume with his voice. He is bare audible now but the Musical sort of sounds even Tarzan yells will strengthen his throat muscles.
Marty, I look forward to talking to you. I suspect you will catch me in transit. For the next 6 weeks Ronnie will be at A & M College at 9:00 AM till 10:oo AM Monday through Thursday and at Charlie's Sheet Metal shop to await therapy at the Huntsville medical mall on Tuesday and Thursday. This Monday we will head for the credit union, after the college, to get them to open Ronnie's credit card account so I can get a statement from it to confirm for the court where I have spent some of his money. Then we will go to Guntersville to the courthouse to get more letters of conservatorship and guardianship to the tune of $3.00 each. I'll get ten of each and hope I never need them again. Thanks Ladies/Friends for commiserating with me.

Night all and here's wishing everyone sweet dreams!!!!!!!!!!!

[trini]

Happy to learn that your husband is doing much better: and glad that all your problems are being sorted out. I do agree that Marty has a wealth of information and good advice to share.
Take care of yourself .
Lei.