Things I've learned from children.

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Things I've learned from children.

New postby bridesmom on Wed Sep 05, 2012 11:35 pm

I"m not sure if someone had posted this before, but I just love it!

*Things I've Learned From My Children*
01. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.
02. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
03. A 3-year-olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
04. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
05. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
06. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
07. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late.
08. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
09. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.
11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will however make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. The mind of a six-year-old is wonderful.
Laura
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Re: Things I've learned from children.

New postby sewingmom on Thu Sep 06, 2012 8:29 am

Thank you for brightening my day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Re: Things I've learned from children.

New postby lendube on Thu Sep 06, 2012 3:55 pm

Oh, oh.......... why do some of those sound like they've happened in my life? :D And did anyone else notice that these are "boy" things???
Lennie

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Re: Things I've learned from children.

New postby bridesmom on Fri Sep 07, 2012 6:47 pm

Yes, noticed the 'boy' things, that's why I sent it to DD who is discovering little boys can be very very different from little girls!! No sitting and playing quietly with the dolls or toys, no sir, not this one, he's bouncing off the walls!
Laura
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Re: Things I've learned from children.

New postby momquilts on Sat Sep 08, 2012 3:56 am

Do you think I should send it to DDIL who has a 3 1/2 y/o and 20 month old twins? They are starting to act like they will do most of the things on this list! :o :pray:
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Re: Things I've learned from children.

New postby kjh9835 on Sat Sep 08, 2012 8:21 am

For girls, from real life experiences:

Eyeliners and lipliners are not crayons.

You will fall and twist your ankles in those heels

Food coloring is not makeup nor paint

The more you pull a "run" in tights/stockings, the bigger it gets.

Oatmeal in toy bowls sets up like concrete.

Daddies do like to play makeover/dress up, only not on certain days (like race day or maybe game day for others). Grandpas will play makeover/dress up anytime. Neither can wear those plastic princess shoes.

Just because mommy can cut daddys hair with the scissors does not mean one of you should hold your sister down while the third one cuts her hair.

Ceiling fans do not cut waffles.

Kathy
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Re: Things I've learned from children.

New postby lendube on Sat Sep 08, 2012 2:14 pm

:D :D :D Kathy!
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Re: Things I've learned from children.

New postby missfleecy on Sun Sep 09, 2012 12:09 am

bridesmom wrote:01. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.

2000 square feet times 4 inches is 666 2/3 cubic feet. A king size mattress is 76" x 80", which is 42 2/9 square feet. Therefore, in order to hold 666 2/3 cubic feet of water, that waterbed would have to be 15 feet and 9 15/32 inches tall--that's almost two stories! Since mattresses are rarely more than a foot tall, this overestimates the amount of water by roughly 16 times--the truth is 1/4 of an inch over 2000 square feet, not four inches!

This glaring error makes me question some of the other items as well, such as how far a ceiling fan really throws a baseball! :D

~ Miss Fleecy :o
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Re: Things I've learned from children.

New postby carman on Sun Sep 09, 2012 1:46 am

try it and tell us ;)

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Re: Things I've learned from children.

New postby DorothyL on Sun Sep 09, 2012 7:41 am

Kathy you forgot --
You do not jump rope under a fancy glass light fixture (or anywhere in the house).
And it is not acceptable to beat up all the boys in kindergarten so they won't bother you for the rest of your school career.
Nor is it wise to constantly show men in authority (middle school principal) that you are smarter than they are.

You had very girly girls.

Dorothy
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